ASK
DOLLY
Dolly is the most astute of hamsters.
Need advice? Consult the wise one!
Previous Questions...
Dear Dolly,
My grandmother is a pervert. She winks at all of my boyfriends and tells nasty jokes. My friends think it's quite funny when she tried to grab their "tails," but I am mortified. What can I do?
~ Granny's Little Prude
Dear GLP,
You need to loosen up. At least you know your grandmother. Mine was separated from the rest of our family before I was -- wait a second! I don't even have a family. Perhaps you should kwitcherbichin and count your blessings. Enjoy your grandma while you have her. They don't last long enough.
Dear Dolly,
My boyfriend loves his cat. I mean, he loooooves his cat. Sometimes I think he'd rather spoon with Bubbles than with me! Help!
~ Cold Side of the Bed
Dear CSOTB,
It seems to me that your main problem is not a lack of attention from your boyfriend, it's the fact that you are dating a man who named a cat Bubbles. I don't even want to know where that name came from... As for your dilemma, I've got one word for you: CATNIP. Ya'll can't spoon with a puss that's thrashing all over tarnation.
